dreams

This was taken from Diyosang Ungas (http://diyosangungas.blogspot.com/)

Hello Sachi! ^_^

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Psychosis, How Original

I believe I'm going mad.

My madness started out as dreams. Regular dreams that everyone has had. Facing a crowd naked. Flying 3 feet high and no higher no matte how much effort is put. Running with all strength on leaden feet. Things like that and many more.

I have a handful of dreams I remember, some of which date back to when I was an infant. Some I purposely imprinted in my memory for the sake of, well, memory.

But now I'm afraid for the dreams have been clearer lately. They're so hard to just toss aside the moment I wake. They're just too...real.

And I'm afraid. Because I feel like I'm losing my touch with reality. I feel so detached with everything around me. Like I'm so wrapped up in my fantasyworld and stopped caring about everything else. I've even convinced myself that these dreams have some significance in my daily doings. I remember names...searching for that illusion of hope, maybe.

I keep journals, old letters, things of the past that I may look upon to remind me of what I was. But even as I do so, I feel too distant from it. Like my past was just part of a dream.

I watch movies and fancy myself as one of them. I read books and immerse myself in that world. And I drown, oblivious to the chaos around me.

And I'm afraid. Because the movies seem more concrete than this...thing I'm leading everyday.

Even now, I think it's not me who's writing this.

I am mad.

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Well... if you are convinced that dreams have some significance in your daily doings, then you are correct.

Dreams are the result of all events you have experienced in your entire life, or the effect of things which you have recently encountered or heavily pondered upon. You can't easily decipher or control them, of course. Even if you try looking for concrete things which you might want to connect with your dreams to put meaning into them, you won't succeed much because your dreams might be coupled with something in your subconscious-- something you never thought was there but is, only you are not aware of it.

Recurring dreams are also a fun thing to talk about.

The thing is, they're becoming clearer because you've already dreamed about them. The more times you dream about something, the more familiar you become with the surroundings in that dream. You already know what's going to happen next but still, you can't do anything about it because they are meant to happen that way. You would seem to be in control in this type of dream but you really aren't. You just know how it will unfold and end. I know because I have them.

Maybe you should try to ease up a bit and think about what you just said: your dreams are like everyone else's. Yeah, everybody's like that in dreams. You can't run much even if you tried. You can't throw solid punches. Even I can't fly very high even if I wanted to reach the heavens.

If we did what we wanted in our dreams, right there and then, we'd be awake.