call me mister mirakol

I was waiting for something miraculous to happen.

This was indeed an interesting thought and I wanted to try out something. Something that would lead me to my miracle. The main idea of this outrageous scheme was to employ little changes in my everyday habits, in hopes of catching some wind that will direct me towards whatever I should be waiting for. Barebones, my life's so boring and I felt trapped in monotonous motion. Maybe this was what I just needed. A change in personality for a change in luck or a change in destiny, if ever something like that existed.

I tried out different costumes for this game. Different moods. Different voices. Different minds. I tried to act like someone else. I tried to be a new me. I tried to mix and match personalities. I mingled with different personalities. I was a different me for each different occasion and each different companion. Results surfaced, but none towards the direction I was hoping for. They all came after me, taking me back to square one. I always got gack to being me. Just plain old me.

So I was wrong. You don't have to be somebody else in order for something to happen in your life. I don't have to be somebody else. Life, take me as I am.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Years have gone by and I am still waiting for my miracle to happen.

Waiting. Waiting in patience. Or rather, haplessly waiting. Clueless. I don't know what I am still waiting for. I don't know what I am still searching for. I'm barking at the wrong tree. Waiting for the wrong star to fall. Praying to the wrong god to answer my prayer. Pleading to the wrong goddess to lay eyes on me.

Maybe I really don't know what I am waiting or searching or even praying for. For the love of God, somebody help me.

No, not somebody. I wouldn't wait for someone to tell me what I should do. I wouldn't just wait and pray for my miracle anymore. I'll do it myself, for whatever it takes. I'll start making the miracle happen. I could end up in tears doing it, but I couldn't say I didn't try. Not this time.